OME GAWD I HATE THIS!

Well, I am going to try to explain this as quick as I can, because honestly, if I do not do this quickly I am going to burst out crying.

There are times where I love my parents more than anything. They really are two wonderful, hard working people, who came from another country here, and had hard families.

But lately I cannot stand it here. I can not be my hyper self anymore.
They hardly trust me. They barely let me go out and play with my friends anymore, and I have to stay home and study, even if it is summer.
I am an A student (surprised?), and I think a little less studying would not hurt. I need a social life. I mean, I have friends, but we are not exactly on the top of the Popularity Totem Pole.

And I already do mine and my brothers chores, and lately they keep giving me more and more. My brother gets to go play and stuff. I just feel like...like....they love him more. And I know why they do...but, I will get killed if I tell you why.

Today they got mad at me for the stupidest thing. My hands were slippery, and I went to turn off our main hall light, and since my hands were slippery the switch went half way down, causing the light to flicker, but then I lowered it.
They YELLED at me for that...and honestly, they have never actually YELLED at me before. And it sucks because my brother has done so many more things worse than that.
My parents know I have done what my brother did, but because he was younger, they pay more attention to him.

They always tell me to be what I want to be. And honestly...*sighs* I am into the Gothic things. The boots; the hair; the clothes; everything. And they never let me wear what I want.
My mother thinks pink is beautiful on me. First off, I know I am ugly. I have been told that many times. And second, I look terrible in pink; I look like...a Taylor.
So I have been begging for the boots, and they said no. So I reminded them that is what I wanted to be. And they looked disapointed.

My father and I do not really talk much. He is usually at work, and when he is at home, he hangs with my brother, and talks with my mother.
But he always seems to find a way to talk sternly at me. I know I am not perfect. But wow; it is over the stupidest things. "You have to eat that with an olive fork! Geezz, we put you in that ettiquette (sp) camp, so remember!" "Sorry, father. I will try to remember." "Sorry nothing!"

Speaking of which, my parents always sign me up for stuff I do not want. Dance class? Please. I cannot dance a step. The dance teacher makes me sit on the bench and watch, because I have broken so many things. My parents want me to be perfect, when really, I am just a stupid kid.

Okay, I am going to start crying.
I feel like if I end my life now, no one would care. They would not notice

Wow. How can you possibly say no one would notice if you were gone? How could you possibly believe that?

I totally understand your frustration. Nothing makes me feel worse than when my parents yell at me, or scold me, or just seem disappointed in me- especially when it's for such a tiny thing. You aren't the only one who's dealt with that- and I mean that in the kindest way. I understand, really I do.

Your parents love you. I know that probably doesn't help much, but it's true. They just want to see you succeed in life. They're afraid that they'll mess up, or whatever, but whatever they do they do because they're trying to make life better for you. They aren't always very good at it, I'm sure- my parents aren't either. But they're trying. Remember that.

But you are NOT a stupid kid. Whatever else you are, you aren't stupid. You are a wonderful, unique, precious person with your own gifts and talents. Always remember that. God made you with a purpose, he has a wonderful plan for your life, not to harm you but to prosper you. Please remember that. You're never, ever alone. Ever.

-Ninjela

Thank you Ninjela

You're welcome, Mimi. I'm glad I was able to help. <3